翻译：博物志婉莹 校对：moki、甜食 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net
消消气
我的天哪！ Oh my god!
- 你准备好出发了吗？- 哦天哪 看看这个 - Are you ready to go? - Oh, god, look at this.
看看 Look at that.
- 什么呀？- 一本关于畸形人的书 - What is this? - It's a book about freaks.
- 是送特德的礼物？- 是的 - Is this Ted's gift? - Yeah.
- 那是你要送给他的生日礼物？- 是啊 - That's what you're giving him for his birthday? - Yeah.
- 好啊 好吧 - 难以置信 - Okay, yeah. - It's unbelievable.
嘿 你猜怎么着 都定下来了 墓地 Hey, guess what. It's all finalized... the cemetery plots.
我们买了 所以现在特德和玛丽的位置在我们旁边 We got 'em, so now Ted and Mary are gonna be next to us
- 还有杰夫和苏西 - 嘿 你喜欢她？ - and Jeff and Susie. - Hey, you like her?
我看到了 I see that.
我觉得那些墓地我们真的钱给多了 I think we really overpaid for those plots.
- 现在说也迟了 那是块好地 - It's too late, and it's a beautiful site.
等下 叫的车好像来了 Hold on. This has to be the car service.
- 嗨 晚上好 大卫太太吗？ - 是的 - Hi, good evening, Miss david? - Yes.
- 您的车到了 - 谢谢 我们马上出来 - Your car's here. - Thank you. We'll be right out.
- 多谢 - 好的 -Thank you so much. - Okay.
- 哦 哦 天哪 哦 天哪 - 拉里 我们的车到了 - Oh, oh, jesus! Oh, jesus! - Larry, our car's here.
- 好的 - 这个不是给你的 - Okay. - This isn't for you, actually.
看看这人有多大 Look at the size of this guy.
把那个放一边 我们要去派对了 Let's put it away. We're going to a party.
我们叫了车 我们可以喝酒 我们可以喝玛格丽塔 We have a car. We can drink. We can have margaritas.
我们可以出去玩 正常点儿 We can hang out, be normal.
好主意 叫车来真是好主意 Great idea, the car service, great idea.
好的 那我们就过几个小时后给你打电话 Okay, so we'll just call you in a few hours or so.
好 我们一会儿见 祝你们玩得愉快 Good. We'll see you in a while. Have a great night, folks.
- 那你干什么去呢？ - 我就在这儿呆着 - What are you gonna do? - I'm gonna be here.
- 有什么东西可以读吗？- 没有 我没事 我没有 好好玩 - Got something to read? - No no no, I'll be fine. I'll be fine. Take care.
好啦 All right.
没有书？没有报纸？ No book? No paper?
- 什么都没有？拼图呢 哈？- 没 我 - Nothing? A puzzle, huh? - No, I...
还是祝你们俩玩得开心 派对愉快 You folks have a great night, though. Have a great party.
我不用担心你吧？你自己没问题吧？ I don't have to worry about you in there? You'll be okay?
- 我好着呢 - 好的 行 - I'm great. - Okay, fine.
你们出来我就在这儿 玩得愉快 I'll be right here when you get out and have a great party.
- 好的 - 谢谢 - Okay. - Thank you.
我自己一个人待十五分钟都不行 I couldn't be alone with myself for 15 minutes.
我的脑子会融化掉 My brains would melt.
他就在这儿坐三个小时什么都不读 He's gonna sit here for three hours and not gonna read.
也没有妹子啥的 毫无消遣 No lady or nothing. No distractions.
大新闻 墓地安排好了 Big News. The cemetery plots came through.
这样杰夫和苏西和你和谢丽儿和我和特德 So it's Jeff and Susie and you and Cheryl and me and Ted
永远埋在一起 我的天哪 buried next to each other forever. Oh my god.
对 是 是不是有点厉害？ Yeah, right. Isn't that something?
- 是啊 - 太厉害了 - Yeah. - That's really something.
- 是啊 我不想 不要太早 - 是啊 不行 - Yeah, I don't want... Not too soon. - yeah, no.
真的 一旦你开始想这件事 It's true. When you start to think about it,
某个人注定要先走 我猜 somebody's gotta go first, I guess.
嗯 应该不会是我或者特德 我们都很健康 Well, it's not gonna be me and probably not Ted. We're very healthy.
- 真的？- 是啊 - Really? - Yeah.
- 派对不错 哈？- 非常好 - Nice party, huh? - This is very nice.
- 这儿大部分人我都不认识 - 真的？ - I don't even recognize most of these people. - Really?
你认识里兹曼家的人 You know the rizmans.
是啊是啊 我不是那么喜欢他们 Yeah yeah, I'm not that crazy about them,
坦白讲 你知道 frankly, you know.
你不喜欢阿尼里兹曼？ You don't like arnie rizman?
又不是说每个秃子我都得喜欢 Just 'cause the person's bald doesn't mean I have to like them.
好吧 不提这个了 这儿总有几个你喜欢的人吧 Okay, forget it. I'm sure there's someone here that you like.
- 我去喝一杯 - 好的 玩得开心 - I'm gonna get a drink. - Okay, enjoy yourself.
好的 好 All right, okay.
- 晚上好 - 晚上好 - Good evening. - Good evening to you.
- 你玩得怎么样？ - 我玩得... - How you doing? - I am doing...
挺好的 Pretty good.
非常 非常好 Pretty, pretty good.
- 喝点什么？- 你还有个小领结 哈？ - What can I get you? - You got a little bow tie there, huh?
有个小领结 Got a little bow tie.
是你自己的主意吗？ That's your idea?
不 不 不是的 No. No, it's not.
你知道 有时候我们被要求戴领结 You know, we're asked to wear it sometimes.
- 有时候是什么时候呢？- 我们工作之前会收到一个表格 - What do you mean sometimes? - Well, we're given a work-order form
上面会注明特殊要求 今天的表格上就写着 with a special request, and in this case, there was a request
丹森先生要求打领结 from Mr. Danson to wear the bow tie.
- 你开玩笑的吧 - 不是啊 - You're kidding. - No.
特德丹森特意要求你们打领结？ Ted danson specifically requested that you wear a bow tie?
你开玩笑的吧？ Are you joking?
我猜是为了方便区分 To distinguish, I believe,
宾客和服务人员 between the guests and the staff.
嗯 看来我得跟他聊两句了 Well, looks like I'm gonna have to have a little talk
跟丹森先生 with Mr. Danson.
别别别别 这一点都... No no no no, that's totally...
没关系的 不用在意 That's okay. Don't worry about it.
- 我要去跟他说道说道 - 拜托您请别去 - I wanna say a little something to him. - Please, please don't.
- 我感觉我有必要去 - 没必要 没必要 - I feel like I have to. - You don't. You don't.
- 说真的 这... - 我有必要 我真的有必要 这么做是错的 - Honestly, it's... - I do. I really do. This is wrong.
- 这是不对的 - 没有必要 - It's just wrong. - It's unnecessary.
有时候我们被要求打领结 没什么 这是工作的一部分 We're asked sometimes. It's fine. It's part of the job.
听着 我这么做是为了你 Listen, I'm doing this for you.
如果你是为我好 那就别去说了 Well, if you're doing it for me, then don't.
- 拜托了 - 好吧 那我就是为了我自己去说的 - Please. - Okay, I'm doing it for me.
那也请你别去说了 Also, please don't then.
你不了解我这个人的作风 OK？ You don't understand how I operate, okay?
- 或许不了解 但是... - 我不会给你惹麻烦的 - Maybe not, but... - I will not get you in trouble.
我会去跟他说说 没事的 I'll talk to him. Everything will be fine.
很有可能就会被联想到我头上 而且这事根本不重要 It would probably implicate me in some way, and it's not that important.
- 你叫什么名字 - 杰米 - What's your name? - Jamie.
- 杰米 好的 - 对 - Jamie, okay. - Yeah.
- 杰米 见到你很高兴 - 见到你很高兴 - Jamie, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.
我要去跟丹森先生说两句了 I'm gonna go say a little something to Mr. Danson.
请不要... Please don't...
几分钟之后 你就不用打领结了 In a few minutes, you're not gonna be wearing a bow tie.
我没有那么介意打领结 我宁愿你别去说 I don't mind wearing it that much. I'd rather you don't.
你会说："拉里感谢你帮我摆脱了领结。" You're gonna say, "Larry, thank you for getting rid of my bow tie."
我感谢你 拉里 不要跟丹森先生说任何事情 I thank you, Larry, to not say anything to Mr. Danson.
杰米 我必须说点什么 Jamie, I gotta say something.
你不需要 You don't.
- 必须的 不说的话我无法自处 - 你不必说的 - I have to. I couldn't live with myself. - You don't have to.
相信我 我知道怎么跟人说话 Just trust me. I know how to talk to people.
- 我相信你 但请不要去 - 这话必须说 - I do trust you, but please don't. - That's gotta go.
- 这话必须说 杰米 - 不需要说 - That's gotta go, jamie. - It doesn't have to.
- 拜托了 拜托了 - 别 别 别 - Please, please. - Nah-ah-ah.
- 嘿 生日快乐！ - 嘿 - Hey, happy birthday! - Hey.
是 是 我是想拥抱你的 但是我知道你不喜欢 Yeah, yeah, I'd hug you, but I know you got a phobia.
是啊 我们用不着那样 对吧？ Yeah, we don't need to go that far, you know?
- 我问你点事儿 - 说吧 - Let me ask you something. - Yeah.
为什么你要让这个可怜的孩子... Why'd you make this poor kid
打领结？那个侍酒生？ wear a bow tie? Bartender?
让他打领结 这是要干什么？ Got him in a bow tie? What's up with that?
我们可以选打领结或者不打领结 我选了打领结 We had a choice. No bow tie, bow tie. We went with bow tie.
- 让派对显得高级一点 我觉得 - 真的吗？ - Classes up the party a little bit, I think. - Really?
看到一个这样的人让我有点不舒服 Makes me a little uncomfortable seeing a guy like that,
必须站在那儿 一整晚都打着领结 have to stand there, wear a bow tie the whole night.
- 这样不好 - 看起来很优雅 - That's not cool. - It looks elegant.
显得你很装 知道吗？ Feel like you're putting on airs or something, you know?
- 我装？- 有一点 是的 - I'm putting on airs? - A little bit, yeah.
你知道 这算什么呢？这样你感觉良好？ You know, what is it? So you feel good?
他不好过了你就好过了？ He's gotta feel bad so you can feel good?
你眼里世界的秩序是这样的吗？ Is that how the world works for you?
- 他跟你说什么了吗？- 没 他没有 - Did he say something to you? - No, he didn't.
- 他说了 对吧？- 没有 他没有说 - He did, didn't he? - No, he did not.
- 他说什么了？- 他什么也没说 - What did he say? - He didn't say anything.
- 放屁 - 他说他希望我不要来跟你说 - Bullshit. - He said he'd rather I wouldn't talk to you,
他就说了这个 但是... that's what he said, but...
- 不能把领结摘了？- 不能 - Can't take the bow tie off? - No.
- 这是你的最终答案？- 这是我的最终答案 - That's your final answer? - That's my final answer.
- 最终答案？- 是啊 不成 - Final answer? - Yeah, no deal.
切 不能你想怎样就怎样吧？ Pfft! Whatever you want, you know?
- 行了 拉里 拜托了 - 好吧 行吧 - Come on, Larry, please. - Okay, all right.
我感觉像个混蛋 因为我跟他保证了 I feel like a jerk 'cause I kind of promised him.
那可太糟糕了 去跟他说你失败了 Well, too bad. Go back and say you failed.
好 我会的 还有一个事 Okay, I will. One more thing:
我外面有个司机 I got a driver out there.
我在想我能不能让他进屋来 I was wondering if I could bring him in the house.
他在外面坐着 他要在那儿待三个小时 He's sitting out there. He'll be out there for three hours.
你介意我把他带进来吗？ Do you mind if I bring him in?
我们给他送点咖啡出去不行吗？ Why don't we just send some coffee out to him?
给他送咖啡出去？拜托 这算什么？ Send coffee out to him? Come on, what is that?
让我把他带进来吧 他就在角落里坐着 不会烦任何人的 Let me bring him in. He'll sit in a corner. He won't bother anybody.
他的工作就是坐在车里等 你在里面玩 It's his job to sit in the car and wait while you have fun.
我知道这是他的工作 但是听着 我以前也开过车 I know it's his job, but listen, I used to drive.
我知道在车里坐三个小时的感受 I know how it feels to sit in a car for three hours
什么都不做就静止呆着 也不能听广播 and do nothing and freeze and not be able to put the radio on
也不能开灯 也不能读书看报 什么都不能做 or the lights. You can't read. There's nothing you can do.
- 你开过加长轿车？- 对 我开过加长轿车 - You drove limos? - Yeah, I did drive limos.
- 真的？- 是啊 - Really? - Yeah.
- 你打小领结了吗？- 没 我没有打 - Did you wear a little bow tie? - No, I did not.
女乘客是个盲人看不见 The woman was blind and couldn't see.
- 真的？-是啊 - Really? - Yeah.
我甚至连制服都没有穿 I didn't even wear the uniform.
- 真的？- 是啊 她什么都看不见 - Really? - Yeah, she couldn't see a thing.
车也是脏的 但不管怎么说 那是另外的故事了 The car was filthy, but anyway, that's another story.
把他带进来吧 我不管了 让他在后面厨房什么的地方待着 Bring him in. I don't care. Put him in the back.
- 真的？谢谢你 谢谢你 - 不客气 - Really? Thank you, thank you. - Yeah. You're welcome.
- 你满意了？- 我满意了 - You happy now? - I'm happy.
- 那领结的事...？- 不行 - Still no on the... - No.
- 好 的 我这就去找他 谢谢 哥们 - 好嘞 - All right, I'm gonna go get him. Thanks, man. - Okay.
- 这是谁送的来着？- 巴尼和艾伦 - Who's this from again? - Barney and ellen.
哦 瞧啊 Oh, look at that.
- 谢谢 太感谢了 - 真好 - Thank you! Thank you so much. - It's nice.
- 这是谁的？上面没有名字吗？- 南希和乔治 - Who this? Doesn't have a name? - Nancy and george.
明晚出去你激动不？ You excited about tomorrow night?
- 明晚什么活动来着？- 麦卡特尼的演唱会啊 - What's tomorrow night? - The mccartney concert.
- 哦 是啊 对哦 - 你多久去一次演唱会啊？ - Oh, yeah, right. - How often do you go to concerts?
- 你知道么？我超兴奋 - 是啊我也是 - You know what? I am excited. - Yeah, I am too.
- 我们出去吃晚饭 会很好玩的 - 是啊会很好玩的 - We'll go out to dinner. It'll be fun. - Yeah, it'll be fun.
- 这个太好了 做了很多好事 - 是啊 - This is great. These do a lot of good. - Yeah.
看到这个了吗大家？ Have you seen this, everybody?
波诺的慈善手机(the Bono phone)：U2乐队主唱波诺 发起的慈善机构的Product Red于2006年与摩托罗拉合作推出的手机 收入的一部分会捐赠给慈善基金
- 哦 波诺的慈善手机 - 哦 太好了 - Oh, the bono phone. - Oh, that's great.
- 为非洲艾滋病捐款 - 哦 太棒了 - Gives money to aids in africa. - Oh, that's so great.
艾滋病不传染异性恋对吧？ That doesn't affect heterosexuals, right?
- 你说什么呢？- 这人简直了 - What are you doing? - The guy's impossible.
- 非常感谢 - 这不好笑 - Thank you so much. - It's not funny.
是个玩笑 大家 只是开玩笑 拜托 It's a joke, people. It's a joke, come on.
- 好的 - 我不确定谁送的 - Okay. - I'm not sure.
是什么？哦 那是我送的！嘿！ What is that? Oh, that's mine. Hey!
- 这就是你跟我说的那个？- 就是它 是的 - This is the one you told me about? - That's it, yeah.
- 《大观......》-《畸形大观》 - "Mondo..." - "Mondo freaks."
《畸形大观》 "Mondo freaks."
翻翻看 Leaf through it.
哈？喜欢吧？ Huh? Are you loving that?
谢谢你 拉里 非常感谢 Well, thank you, Larry. Thank you very much.
不客气 这书非常适合放在咖啡桌上 You're welcome. It's a great coffee-table book.
哦 对 等一下 Oh, yeah, wait.
我想给杰夫看一下 好吗？ I wanna just show it to Jeff, okay?
好嘞 谢谢 Yeah, thanks.
好的 接下来这是谁送的？ All right, what have we got next here?
我马上回来 I'll be right back.
好的... Okay...
- 这是彼得彼得森 - 好的 这是什么呢？ - It's pete peterson. - All right, what have we got here?
难以置信 That's unbelievable.
这是什么呢？ What do we got here?
他的头是歪的！ His head tilted!
哦！ Oh!
你还好吧 伙计？ You all right, buddy?
生日快乐 贝克 Happy birthday, becker.
哦天哪 Oh, jesus.
很抱歉 他是谁啊？ I'm sorry about that. Who is he?
有人认识吗？ Does anyone know?
- 我觉得那是我的司机 - 那是你的司机？ - I think that's my driver. - That's your driver?
这就是你带进我家里的人？ This is the guy you brought into my house?
- 我很抱歉 哥们 - 你很抱歉？那人醉成狗了 - I'm sorry, man. - You're sorry? That guy's plastered.
- 是个意外 他不是故意的 - 手从我身上拿开！ - It was an accident. He didn't do it on purpose. - Get off me!
天哪 出... God, get...
出去 你这个死变态！ Get out of here, you stupid creep!
怎么了？ What happened?
- 那个人 那个醉鬼 他非礼我 - 他什么？ - That guy, the drunk guy, just groped me. - He what?
他...哦！手在我身上到处摸 He just... ooh! Put his hands all over me.
- 我简直不能信 - 那个王八... - I don't believe him. - That son of a...
那啥 你给我出去 走 You know something? You're out of here. Go on.
- 什么？- 走 出去 拉里 - What? - Go on, get out of here, Larry.
- 什么？- 从我的房子里滚出去好吗？ - What? - Get the hell out of my house, will you?
- 什么？这只是个意外 - 带着你的畸形朋友 - What? It was an accident. - Take your freaky friend
- 和你畸形的书给我出去 - 什么？ - and your freak book and get the hell out. - What?
他非礼我太太 他还打碎了... 我简直不能相信！ He gropes my wife, and he breaks... I can't believe this!
- 好 好 我这就走！- 走 - Fine, fine, I'm leaving! - Go on.
好吧 生日快乐 走吧 谢丽儿 Fine. Happy birthday. Come on, Cheryl.
- 我很抱歉 - 哦 谢丽儿 不是你的错 - I'm sorry. - Oh Cheryl, it's not your fault.
生日快乐 Happy birthday.
- 真是个狗屎派对 - 是啊 - That was a bullshit party. - Yeah.
我们走吧 上车 Let's get out of here. Get in.
- 不 你不能开车 - 我完全没事 - No, you're not driving. - I'm totally fine.
- 你疯了吧？你不能开车 - 我没有那么醉 - Are you crazy? You're not driving. - I'm not that drunk.
- 你在干什么？- 嘿 我知道 - What are you doing? - Hey, I know.
我就是开开玩笑 但是说真的 I'm just joking around. But seriously,
你们俩 上车 我来开 you two, get in. I'm driving.
不 你不能开 你喝醉了 No, you're not. You can't drive. You're drunk.
你不能开车送我们回家 正常人都不会 You are not gonna drive us home. Nobody in their right mind
- 上你的开的车的 - 来吧 上车 - would get in a car with you right now. - Come on, get in the car.
- 你待在这儿 - 好 好 好 - You'll stay right over here. - Okay okay okay.
别忘了我 兄弟 Don't forget me, bud.
- 你知道怎么开加长轿车吗？- 我不知道 - Do you know how to drive a limo? - I don't know.
- 嘿 查理 - 别动手套匣 - Hey, charlie. - Stay out of the glove compartment.
- 查理 - 别动手套匣 - Charlie. - Stay out of the glove compartment.
上... Get...
来吧 查理 来 起来 Come on, charlie. Come on, get up.
- 不是在开玩笑吧？- 走 - No kidding? - Let's go.
哦 不是吧 Oh, man.
哦 天哪 Oh, my goodness.
这就是我家 There she is.
走 台阶 台阶 走 Come on, step, step, come on.
亲爱的 亲爱的...！ Honey, honey...!
- 没人在家 待在外面 - 拜托了 宝贝 - Nobody's home. Stay out. - Come on, baby.
不 又喝醉 你这混蛋 No, not again. God damn you!
别进来 你们是谁？ Huh-uh, huh-uh. Who are you?
下来！下来！ Get off! Get off!
你不准睡沙发！嘿 你们这是干啥？ Don't you dare get on that couch. Hey, what are you doing?
哈？跟这个操蛋的货喝酒？ Huh? You party with this fuckface?
不 我们没有一起喝酒 No, we weren't partying.
不是的 他是我们的司机 No, he was driving us.
他喝多了 所以我们就... And he had too much to drink, so we thought...
你！ You!
把你的又臭又脏的脚从我沙发上拿下来！ Get your stinky, nasty feet off my couch.
谁啊？是天杀的邻居和他们那傻逼狗子么？ Who's there? Is that the goddamn neighbors with their fucking dog?
- 不是的 爸 去睡觉！- 谁啊？ - No, dad, go to bed! - Who's there?
我的生活就是这样狂风暴雨的狗屎 一坨屎 This is the shitstorm of my life. It's shit.
是啊 看着不怎么好 Yeah, it doesn't look that great.
是啊 不好 瞧把你美的 No, it isn't. Aren't you pretty?
- 你咋那么好看呢？- 你很漂亮 - Don't you look nice? - You're pretty.
- 你很漂亮 - 非常吸引人 - You're pretty. - Very attractive.
- 让他们把音乐关了 - 闭嘴！ - Tell 'em to stop playing the music. - Shut up!
我们今晚没有办法回家 因为... We have no way to get home tonight because...
是 他显然不能开车 No, clearly he can't drive.
我本来会给你们住楼上房间 但是我爸一团糟 I would offer you the upstairs room, but my dad is a fucking mess.
我们能开加长轿车回家吗？ Can we take the limo home?
我明天会开回来 我保证 I'll bring it back tomorrow. I promise.
你可得把它开回来 You gotta bring it back, man.
我不需要你说话！ I don't need you to talk!
- 谢谢 - 抱歉我不能请你们进来吃点东西了 - Thank you. - I'm sorry I couldn't invite you in for a snack.
你们猜怎么着 橱子里什么吃的都没有 But you know what? There's nothing in the cupboard.
- 我不想让那条狗在我院子里拉屎！- 爸爸 算我求你了！ - I don't want that dog shitting in my yard! - Daddy, so help me!
会很好玩的 This is gonna be so fun.
我超期待这个演唱会 I'm so looking forward to this concert.
哦 天哪 你在穿西装 Oh, my gosh, you're wearing a suit.
就像个正式约会 This is like a real date.
去吃完饭然后去演唱会然后再去玩 Gonna go to dinner and go to a concert and hang out.
哦天哪 你知道我听说什么了吗？ Oh my god. You know what I heard?
我听说海瑟米尔斯和保罗麦卡特尼 I heard that heather mills and paul mccartney
有可能要复合了 might be getting back together.
- 哦 真刺激 - 你能相信么？ - Oh, how exciting. - Can you believe that?
- 我激动得不行 - 她今晚甚至可能在现场 - I'm a all atwitter. - She might even be there tonight.
- 真的？- 是啊 能看到海瑟米尔斯 - Really? - Yeah. See heather mills.
你知道 我得跟你说 You know, I gotta tell ya,
- 我在想特德丹森的事情 - 然后呢 - I'm thinking about this Ted danson thing. - Yeah.
我不想埋在这人旁边 I don't think I wanna be buried next to this guy.
这就是我的感受 That's how I feel.
所以我在想 或许... So I was thinking maybe...
或许你愿意跟我换个地方 这样你就在我俩中间了 Maybe you'll switch plots with me, so you'll be between us.
我无所谓 I don't care.
但是你知道那就意味着你会在苏西隔壁 But you know that means that you'll be next to Susie.
所以你需要她同意 So you're gonna need her permission.
你怎样我无所谓 - I don't care what you do.
哦 嘿 他们来了 Oh, hey, that's them.
哦 我去开门 Oh, I'll get it.
- 保罗麦卡特尼啊亲 耶！- 保罗麦卡特尼 - Paul McCartney, baby, yeah! - Paul McCartney!
嘿 你们好 嘿 你看起来很棒 哦 瞧 你也穿了西装 Hey, guys. Hey, you look great. Oh, look, a suit too.
- 可不 挺帅的不是？- 是啊 你穿得也很好看 - I know. Isn't that nice? - Yeah, you do look good.
- 我喜欢你这一身 - 你喜欢？ - I love this outfit. - You do?
哦 是啊 真好看 粉红色... 我喜欢这个东西 Oh, yeah, it's great... the pink. I love this stuff.
哇哦 很高兴你喜欢 Wow, glad you like it.
- 真的好看 真的 - 摇滚明星范儿 - Really nice, yeah. - It's a rock star thing.
- 搭配得非常好 是啊 看起来好极了 - 很高兴你喜欢 - Great combo. Yeah, looks terrific. - Glad you like it.
- 你们想不想来点葡萄酒和奶酪？- 我确实想喝点 太好了 - You want some wine, cheese? - I'd love some wine. That'd be great.
畸形人的书呢？ Where's the freak book?
- 忘在车里了 - 哦 不是啊 好吧 - Left it in the car. - Oh, man, all right.
- 我很抱歉 - 没关系 - I'm sorry. - It's all right.
祝个酒如何？敬好朋友 敬友谊 How about a toast? To good friends, good friendship.
- 好 非常好 很好 - 敬友谊？ - Nice, very nice, very nice. - To friendship?
你知道 你昨天晚上不在 You know, you weren't there last night.
- 不 我听说了 - 特德丹森 - No, I heard. - Ted danson,
我受够这个人了 I have had it with this guy.
- 他最近有些膨胀 我发现 - 特别自大 - He's a little pompous lately, I notice. - So full of himself.
我怎么说吧 好吗？我不想埋在这人旁边 Let me just say this, okay? I don't wanna be buried next to this guy.
我真的不想 我一直在想这件事 I really don't. I've been thinking about it.
我之前跟谢丽儿聊天 我就问她 I was talking to Cheryl, and I asked Cheryl
愿不愿意跟我换个地方 她同意了 if she'd switch plots with me, and she agreed.
- 所以现在我就要埋在你旁边了 - 在我旁边？ - So now I'll be buried next to you. - Next to me?
是啊 在你旁边 就这样了 Yeah, next to you, so that's that.
我真的不喜欢这样 拉儿 我不喜欢 I don't really like that, lar. I don't like that.
- 为什么不喜欢？- 因为我喜欢原来的安排 - Why not? - Because I liked it the way it was.
有什么大不了的？ What's the big deal?
因为 拉里 说实话 我不想永远埋在你身边 Because, Larry, honestly, I don't wanna be next to you for eternity.
这么说是不是太直了？ May I be so bold?
人死了之后最好的一面才浮现出来 Your best self emerges after you're dead.
- 你又不能确定这件事 - 我确定 我死而复生过 - You don't know that for a fact. - I do know. I came back.
你猜怎么着 即使是最好的你 我也没兴趣永远地埋在一起 Guess what. Even your best self, I'm not interested for eternity.
我收回我的祝酒辞 I take back my toast.
- 好朋友？- 行 收回你的祝酒辞把 - Good friends? - Fine, take back your toast.
我收回祝酒辞 也收回关于你衣服的评论 I take back the toast, and I take back what I said about your outfit.
好啊 就因为你想着这事儿才那么说的 Well, you only said it 'cause you had this in mind
就为了让我换地方 你说话总是别有用心 to get me to switch plots. There's always an ulterior motive.
如果你嫁给我 我绝对不会让你穿着这身衣服出门 If you were married to me, I never would have let you out of the house with that.
没关系 我又没有嫁给你 That's fine. I'm not married to you.
而且我永远也不会待在你身边 And I'm not gonna be next to you forever and ever and ever.
- 我想要一点清净 - 好吧 行 - I want some peace and quiet. - Okay, fine.
这样如何？我跟谢丽儿换 How about this? I'll switch with Cheryl,
然后你跟杰夫换 but then you switch with Jeff.
- 我不行 我必须在边上 - 确实是这样 - I can't do that. I need to be on the end. - That's true.
我幽闭恐惧 我除了在边上哪儿都不行 I'm claustrophobic. I can't be anywhere but the end.
不然他就喘不上气 他必须在边上 He hyperventilates. He has to be on the end.
- 是啊 这么不好 - 我来跟你说什么不好 好吧？ - Yeah, it's not good. - I'll tell you what's not good, okay?
你们的自私 The selfishness that's going on here.
不 我想永恒地埋在我该死的丈夫身边 不是特德丹森旁边 No, I wanna be next to my goddamn husband for eternity, not Ted danson.
我们就这么埋 我对他许过誓言的 拉里 That's the way we lay there. I made a vow to him, Larry.
行吧 我们搬离这片墓地 我们去找别的墓地 OK. We're leaving this cemetery. We're getting another plot.
- 不 不能 我们不能 - 能 我们要搬！能 我们要搬！ - No, we're not. No, we are not. - Yes, we are! Yes, we are!
没人愿意换位子？你们是这个意思吗？ Nobody's switching? Is that what you're saying to me?
我们应该保持现状 We should keep it the way it is.
你们要保持现状？行 行 祝你们晚上开心 You're gonna keep it the way it is? Fine, fine. Enjoy your evening, okay?
- 你在说什么啊？- 我要走了 我要走了 - What are you talking about? - I'm going. I'm going.
你们死了之后不想埋在我身边 You don't wanna be buried next to me when you're dead,
我估计你们活着的时候也不想在我身边 I can assume you don't wanna be next to me when you're alive.
我们演唱会见 I'll see you at the concert.
- 他真是个戏精 反应太夸张了 - 我也不知道 - He's a drama queen. He's overreacting. - I don't know.
跟个小姑娘一样 这算什么啊？根本没什么嘛 Like a little girl. What was that? That was nothing.
- 车呢？- 里昂开走了 - Where's the car? - Leon took it.
他没有问我 He didn't ask me.
- 你这是干什么？- 我要开加长轿车 - What are you doing? - I'm taking the limo.
- 加长车？- 他疯了 - Limo? - He's out of his mind.
他要开加长轿车？ He's driving a limo?
哦 操！ Oh, fuck!
- 你好 - 拉里 嘿 是 查理 加长轿车司机 - Hello. - Larry, hey, it's charlie, the limo driver.
- 你好 查理 - 昨晚的事我很抱歉 - Hello, charlie. - I'm sorry about last night.
是啊 诶哟诶哟 你应该感到抱歉 Yeah, boy oh boy, you should be.
- 不应该让你经历这一番折磨 - 是啊 挺糟糕的 - You shouldn't have had to go through that. - Yeah, that was pretty bad.
我没打算喝那么醉 我失控了 I didn't mean to get that drunk. I just got out of hand.
我帮了你个忙 我把你弄进屋了 结果挺糟糕的 I did you a favor. I let you in the house. It was pretty awful.
我非常...我非常...哦天哪 我非常抱歉 I'm so... I'm so... Oh, god, I'm so sorry.
猜怎么着 我现在正开着车呢 你要我把车送回来不？ Guess what. I'm in the limo right now. Do you want me to return it?
听着 哥们 你得帮我一个大忙 Look, man, you gotta do me a huge favor.
我三十分钟后要到机场接个人 I gotta pick somebody up in 30 minutes at the airport.
他是个超级 VIP 客户 我肯定赶不到 He's this huge vip client, and I can't get there, man.
他们刚给我打电话 你得去接他 They just called. You gotta go pick him up.
- 你这是逗我呢吧？- 不 求你了 真的 - What are you, kidding me? - No, please, seriously.
我才不去机场接人呢 I'm not gonna go pick somebody up at the airport.
如果我不接这一单我工作就丢了 哥们 If I don't get this, I lose my job, man.
我老婆就没有医保了 And my wife is gonna lose her health care.
我们就什么都没有了 哥们 房子也没了 We're gonna lose everything, man. The house goes too.
我不能去机场接人 I can't pick somebody up at the airport.
- 你疯了吗？- 拉里 帮我个忙 拜托了 哥们 - Are you insane? - Larry, do me a favor. Come on, man.
- 哦天哪 - 拜托了 拉里 - Oh, jesus. - Please, Larry,
看在上帝的份上...为了我家人 for god's sake... For my family.
哦... Oh...
- 行吧 好 好 - 谢谢 哦 天哪 谢谢 - All right, fine, fine. - Thanks. Oh, god, thanks.
替你去机场 太难以相信了 查理 Go to the airport for you. This is really unbelievable, charlie.
就去机场 到航站楼去 Go just go to the airport. Get to the terminal,
你就是加长车司机查理了 哥们 and you're charlie the limo driver, man.
去接约翰麦肯罗 他想去哪儿就带他去哪儿 好吗？ Just pick up john mcenroe. Take him wherever he wants to go, okay?
约翰麦肯罗？ John mcenroe?
是啊 约翰麦肯罗 他想去哪儿就带他去哪儿 好吗？ Yeah, john mcenroe. Take him wherever he wants to go, okay?
他是打网球的 就他所知 He's the tennis guy. As far as he knows,
你就是加长车司机查理 哥们 就这样 you're charlie the limo driver, man. That's it.
- 就站在那儿 - 我是查理 妥了 - Stand there. - I'm charlie, cool.
- 就是你了 - 很高兴见到你 麦肯罗先生 我是查理 - You're the man. - Nice to meet you, Mr. Mcenroe. I'm charlie.
嘿 麦肯罗先生 吃了么 Hey, Mr. Mcenroe, hiya.
你挺好的吧？我是查理 How you doing? I'm charlie.
好的 嘿 好的 我能搞定 All right, hey. Okay, I got it.
啊！ Ah!
好的 Okay.
- 让我来拿 - 好 谢谢 - Let me get that. - Yeah, thanks.
我来拿 I got it.
- 好嘞 请给我吧 - 谢谢 - Okay, give me this, please. - Thank you.
好的 我是查理 All right, charlie.
- 你好查理 我是约翰麦肯罗 - 约翰麦肯罗 很高兴见到你 - Charlie, john mcenroe. - John mcenroe, nice to meet you.
- 乐意为你服务 - 谢谢 - Pleasure. - Thanks.
- 你去哪儿？- 去史泰博中心听麦卡特尼演唱会 - Where you heading? - Going to the staples center for the mccartney concert.
- 哦 不是吧 - 是啊 - Oh, no kidding. - Yeah.
- 好的 飞得怎么样？- 还行吧 - Good. How was the flight? - It was all right.
还行吧 It was all right.
都还好吧 麦肯罗先生？ How you doing, mr. Mcenroe?
都好 都好 谢谢 Good. Good, thanks.
需要什么都跟我老查理说啊 You let old charlie know whatever you need.
- 查理为你服务 - 好的 查理 - Charlie's your guy. - All right, charlie.
- 谢谢 - 查理愿意为你服务 别害羞 - Thanks. - Charlie is your man. Don't be shy.
查理 听着 我现在有点累 好吗 谢谢 Charlie, listen. Little tired right now, okay? Thanks.
嘿 我来问你 你小时候内向吗？ Hey, let me ask you something. Were you shy as a child?
- 你内向吗？- 是啊是啊我确实内向 - Were you shy? - Yeah yeah, I was actually.
我小时候也很内向 Like, I was shy when I was a kid.
人们总是说 放开点 放开点 People always saying, "don't be shy. Don't be shy."
说得就跟内不内向我自己能控制一样 What, do you think you have control of being shy?
- 你知道我什么意思吧？- 是啊 是啊 我知道 - You know what I'm talking about? - Yeah. Yeah, I do.
打过乒乓球吗？我乒乓打得最好了 我跟你说 Ever play ping pong? Ping pong's my game. I'll tell you something:
我觉得乒乓比网球难多了 没有冒犯的意思啊 I think it's a lot harder than tennis, with all due respect.
我尊重你的意见 但我不同意 查理 I'm gonna have to respectfully disagree with that, charlie.
你平常玩什么？你约翰麦肯罗都怎么消遣？ What do you do for fun? How does a john mcenroe have fun?
我现在想安静 信不信吧 I like to be quiet now, believe it or not.
- 你电视看得多吗？- 看很多体育节目 - You watch a lot of tv? - Lot of sports.
- 你对什么过敏吗？- 不过敏 - You have allergies? - No allergies.
你相信神 某种神吗？ Do you believe in god, a god of some kind?
是的 我只相信一个神 Yeah, I believe in a god,
而且我正好奇他现在在哪儿 and I'm wondering where he is right now.
- 你热爱生活吗？- 是啊 我热爱生活！ - You like life? - Yeah, I like life!
- 你爱好园艺吗？- 我不搞园艺 好吗？ - Do you garden? - I don't garden, okay?
如果你跟喜欢园艺的人聊天 他们都会跟你说一件事： If you talk to people who garden, they'll all tell you the same thing:
他们觉得园艺非常令人放松沉静 they find it very relaxing and meditative.
而且看起来确实是的 我承认 我很嫉妒园丁 And it looks like it. I admit it. I'm jealous of the gardener.
- 你嫉妒过园丁吗？- 没 我没有 其实 - Have you ever been jealous of a gardener? - No, I haven't, actually.
- 你结婚了吗？- 是的 我结婚了！ - Are you married? - Yeah, I'm married!
我一周做爱一次 你呢？ I have sex once a week. How about you?
- 这个问题太私人了？- 是啊 太私人了好么？ - Is that too personal? - Yeah, that's too personal, okay?
聊这个有什么大不了的？ What's the big deal to talk about that?
我不明白 我一周做爱一次... I don't understand it. I have sex once a week...
好的时候一周两次 但我一周不做也行 Good week, twice. But I can go more than one week.
嘿 这真是有意思 好吗 查理？ Hey, that's really interesting, okay, charlie?
哦天哪 嘿 我得停一下 Oh my god. Hey, I need to make a stop
两分钟... 可以吗...就在这个墓地 for two minutes... would that be okay... at this cemetery?
- 在墓地？- 是啊就在这儿 我不敢相信 - In this cemetery? - Yeah, it's right here. I can't believe it.
我只需要停几分钟 I just need to make a stop just for a couple of minutes.
- 行吧 随便吧 - 哦 太感谢你了 谢谢 - All right, whatever. - Oh, thank you so much. Thank you.
- 感谢 你真是个好人 - 是啊是啊 - I appreciate that. You're a good man. - Yeah yeah.
嘿 查理 你要去多久？ Hey, charlie, how long is this gonna take?
就两分钟 给 看这本畸形人的书 I'll just be two minutes. Here, check out this freak book.
- 超搞笑 - 好的 好 - It's a riot. - All right, fine.
- 好的 看起来好极了 - 特别好玩 - Great. Looks wonderful. - It's a lot of fun.
看看那些畸形人吧 麦肯罗先生 Check out the freaks, mr. Mcenroe.
这个不如你原来那个好 那个是我们最好的了 It's not what you had. What you had was the best we have to offer.
那个绝对是一流的 It was absolutely spectacular.
是啊 不过我不想要那个了 Yeah, well, I'm done with that one.
然而 这个也不差 However, this is not bad.
这里葬的都是上流人士 You have a nice class of people here
风景也很好 and a nice view.
很安静 It's quiet.
之前的墓地可以退款吗？ Can I get a refund on the other plot?
不 我不能那么做 No, I can't do that,
但如果你愿意可以以私人名义转卖 but you can sell it privately if you like.
好的 这很合理 Okay, that's fair. Okay.
我要了 I'll take it.
什么鬼？ What the fuck?
查理！ Charlie!
什么？这不是你们的加长车 What? This is not your limo.
不不不不 No no no no no,
这不是你们的加长车 这是别人的加长车 this is not your limo. This is somebody else's limo.
我给你钱 怎么都行 载我姐姐回家 I pay you. I do whatever. Just take my sister home.
- 给他钱 - 看 人家来了 - Give him the money. - Look, the guy's coming.
我姐姐会...我知道我知道 My sister will... I know. I know.
人家来了 让他进来 The guy's coming. Help him get into the car.
- 查理 什么鬼？- 关上门 - Charlie, what the hell? - Close the door.
出去 把门关上 Just get out. Close the door.
他们觉得这是他们的车 我不知道 They think it's their car. I don't know.
- 上车 上车 - 这是怎么回事？ - Get in, get in. - What is this?
为什么他进来了？为什么你... Why is he coming in? Why are you...
- 这是他的车 - 你进来干什么？ - It's his car. - What are you coming in for?
- 我们要回家 - 你们住在哪儿？ - We need to go home. - Where do you live?
- 这他妈的是... - 22509街 - What the fuck is... - 22509th street.
我不管他们住哪儿 把他们弄出去 I don't care where they live. Let's get 'em out of here.
你知道吗？那里离史泰博中心不远 You know what? That's not that far from the staples center.
- 是 对 好吧 可真行 - 太感谢你了 - Yeah, right. Okay, great. - Thank you so much.
我们现在差得老远了 Now we are nowhere near this place.
我们差得老...我不知道这是哪儿 We are nowhere near... I don't know where this place is.
我找不到地方 I can't find this place.
- 什么？- 你只需要左转 - What? - You have to just make a left turn.
不 这离得可不近 No, this isn't close.
你说了第8街对吗？这不是第8街 You said 8th street, right? This is not 8th street.
查理 我花钱可不是为了忍受这个 拜托！ Charlie, I didn't pay for this. Come on!
你只需要左转就好了 All you have to do is make a left turn.
你跟我说走这条路的 我完全走错路了 You told me to go this way. I went completely the wrong way.
- 你不是司机么 - 应该是另一条路 我想 - You're supposed to be a driver. - It's the other way, I think.
好 你刚刚说了"我想" 别想 Okay, you just said the word, "I think." don't think.
跟着我的指令走！ Just follow my instructions!
我跟你说 左转！ I'm telling you, make a left turn!
别把事情弄得更糟了 Don't make this worse than it already is.
向左转把我们载回家！ Just make a left turn and take us home!
我们只需要回家而已 因为我姐姐... This is all we need to do because my sister...
够了 够了！ that's it. That's it!
够了 我受不了了！ That's it. I can't take this anymore!
查理 靠边停车 够了！ Charlie, pull the car over. That's it!
他妈的靠边停车！ Pull the car over, god damn it!
我得去演唱会 我不管你他妈的老爹 I gotta get to the concert. I don't care about your fucking father.
停车！我不在乎你爸好么？ Pull over! I don't care about him, okay?
查理 带我去看演唱会 老天爷啊！ Charlie, get me to the show. Jesus christ!
赶紧 快点 出去 Come on, quick. Get out of here.
你要干什么？ What are you doing?
是啊 也操你 好么？是啊 亲我的屁股吧！ Yeah, fuck you, too, all right? Yeah, kiss my... !
- 天哪 我们赶上了吧 查理？- 我们赶上了 - God, we made it, charlie? - We made it.
- 太好了！- 我们赶上了 小麦！ - Yeah! - We made it, mac!
嘿 这本书...我得说这本书太好了 Hey, and this book... I gotta tell you, this book is great.
- 你喜欢那本畸形人的书 哈？- 这本畸形人的书简直了 - Are you loving that freak book, huh? - This freak book is sick.
你看 你刚刚还担心 我跟你说了我们会及时赶到的 You see, you were worried. I told you I'd get you here on time.
我知道能及时赶到演唱会 但我担心不能赶上秀前派对 I knew I was gonna make the show on time, but just worried about this pre-party.
- 我有秀前派对的通行证 超赞的 - 真的吗？ - I got this pass to this pre-party. It's awesome. - really?
有多的票吗？ Got any extra tickets?
你什么意思？你是个司机啊哥们 What do you mean? You're a driver, man.
嘿 如果我俩换过来 我就会带你去的 Hey, if the situation were reversed, I'd let you go.
好吧 行 行 好吧 All right, fine. Fine, all right.
我们带上这本畸形人书 You know what? We'll bring the freak book.
你觉得如何？ What do you think?
嘿 查理 再给我拿瓶啤酒 Hey, charlie, get me another beer.
- 查理 快来 你得看看这个 - 哼 - Charlie, come here. You gotta see this. - Mmm.
我喝醉了 我们得找个司机 I'm smashed. We're gonna need a driver.
查理 谢谢 我得跟你说 Charlie, thanks. I gotta tell you,
这书太棒了 谢谢你给我看这本书 哥们 this is awesome. Thank you for this book, man.
- 不不不 我来拿 - 这么半天一直是你在拿 - No no no, let me hold it. - You've been holding it the whole time.
- 我喜欢啊 - 我们平分 我们分享 - I like it. - We'll split it. We'll share it.
- 好吧 好 好 - 好的 - All right, fine fine. - Okay.
- 三条腿！- 哪儿？ - Three legs! - Where?
- 三条！- 不 不！ - There! - No no!
- 三条腿！那是什么？- 猪鼻子 - Three legs! What is that? - Pig nose.
- 是头猪 是个猪人！- 猪鼻子！ - It's a pig. It's a human pig! - Pig nose!
哦天哪！ Oh, god!
- 真畸形啊！- 哦天哪 - What a freak! - Oh my god,
- 真畸形啊！- 是海瑟 - what a freak! - It's heather.
你说谁变态呢 你这个傻逼秃子？ Who you calling a freak, you bald fuck?
我怎么会说海瑟米尔斯是个畸形人？ Why would I call heather mills a freak?
我们没有在说她！ We weren't talking about her!
我在说这本书 里面都是畸形人 I was talking about the book. There's freaks in here.
明白了？看 四个乳房 你看到四个乳房了吗？ See? Look. Four tits. You see the four tits?
这是个畸形人 我们说的是这个 That's a freak. That's what I'm talking about.
- 拜托了 再给个机会 - 我们只是在说这本书 - Please, one more chance. - I was only talking about the book.
- 我怎么会那么做？- 这都是你的错！ - Why would I do that? - This is all your fault!
为什么你要带这本该死的书？ Why'd you bring that fucking book?
- 你喊着"畸形" - 你也喊了"畸形" - You yelled, "what a freak." - You yelled, "what a freak," too!
你先喊的 我跟着你喊的 You yelled it first. I was just following you!
天杀的！我们这下要错过演唱会了！ God damn it! We're gonna Miss the show now!
- 那不是我的错 - 放屁！就是你的错 - That's not my fault. - Bullshit! It is your fault.
- 不 不是的 - 天杀的 你是个混蛋 你知道吗？ - No, it isn't. - God damn it, you're an asshole, you know that?
- 操你妈的！操你妈！- 操你妈！ - Fuck you! Fuck you! - Fuck you!
- 不 操你妈！- 操你大爷！ - No, fuck you! - Fuck you!
- 去开他妈的车吧 - 我送你回家 怎样？ - Go get the fucking car. - Get a ride home. How about that?
我的天哪！ Holy shit!
- 嘿 拉 - 嘿 - Hey, lar. - Hey.
- 还你车 - 啊 谢谢 - Returning the car. - Yeah, thanks.
什么...什么... What's... What's...
- 她爸爸昨天死了 - 哦天哪 - Her dad died yesterday. - Oh, jeez.
如果又是邻居 If it's the neighbor again,
跟他们说我很抱歉在哭 say I'm sorry I'm crying.
听说你父亲去世我很遗憾 I'm sorry to hear about your father.
多么突然 而且他不想走 他挣扎了 So sudden, and he didn't wanna go, man. He fought it.
他拼死挣扎了 那个老不死的 He fought it like a trouper, that old asshole.
我们怎么办？我可办不起葬礼 What are we gonna do? I can't afford a funeral.
我什么都买不起 我们要把他埋在哪儿呢？ I can't afford anything. Where we gonna bury him?
我想我可以帮到你 I think I can help you out.
翻译：博物志婉莹 校对：moki、甜食 英语字幕来源：tvsubtitles.net